Hang in there


Often times, most of us encounter situations where we strive to reach a goal or simply pull ourselves together, but give up at some point of time. The result is a sense of disappointment and resentment where the blame is conveniently thrust upon an external element for the sake of our redemption. From what I have known in my own life, most of the rewarding experiences were from efforts that have gone above and beyond my comfort level, where I almost wanted to give up but decided to hang in there because I believed! These experiences have taught me to brave all bad weather and move forward for that too will pass.

These challenges visit all of us in different forms like losing job, encountering a life-threatening illness, being stuck in meaningless relationships or facing death of closed ones. In other cases, there could be lesser challenges like losing weight, getting a certain academic or professional goal under your belt or running a marathon or attempting sky diving. How can you make challenges less daunting and more acceptable?

1) When faced with a situation, bring out your positive energy and positive thought and work towards finding a solution, than finding an excuse or blaming bad fate that has befallen you. Focus on the end result that present struggle would pay off. This gives you ample confidence in the first place.

2) Fear is our biggest enemy in life, when it comes to making a change. We don’t realize that most of the fear is imaginary. What are the possible outcomes of fear? You either succumb to it and let things be or you realize it and take measures to combat it. The result of outliving your fear is, you see and feel a different life.

3) Sometimes, when you are in the bumpy ride, it might feel like a journey in darkness with no light at the end of the trail. Hang in there and tell yourself not to give up. It could be bitter, sometimes blended with extreme feelings of loneliness, desolation and helplessness. Do not try to deny these feelings or run away from them. Just give time and let things just be. Time is the biggest healer.

4) When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. The fact that we alone can essentially help ourselves is a great realization when encountering difficult situations. Learn ways to toughen up and brace yourself to unfavorable circumstances in life. It helps to connect with other people or groups in the same situation facing same kind of challenges. There is a lot to learn and share when you network either through online resources or social groups that offer support and solutions.

5) Expectation that every effort should turn out to be a success can be a big deterrent in accomplishing what you have set your mind on. Failure is essential to make us well-rounded as human beings. We need to be brought back to realization of our modest existence often enough to keep us rooted. When you do any task with no expectation of results and with wholeheartedness, success and failure become nothing beyond just labels.

6) When you are going through rough terrains, it often helps to hang in there just from the realization of other lives that are also dependent on us. It becomes all the more important that we took responsibility of the situation because it makes perfect sense in the bigger scheme of things to keep ourselves and the rest of the lives going.

7) Be grateful for what you have. Cherish every moment. Counting our blessings on an everyday basis helps pull through difficult moments. Often times we forget to appreciate life’s small things in search of bigger ones.

In short, it is all in our minds how we perceive the situations we are in. It is simply our attitude that defines our course of life!


Finding Your True Self!

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Midlife Magic

When we transgress the unknown, we often find ourselves!

Few months back my daughter threw me off-guard with this question: Mom, what is your passion…what do you like doing the most. I scrambled for a qualifying answer as a pursuit worth mentioning, only to find myself losing ground. I reminisced self-intuitively with instant recognition that somewhere down the lane I had lost my true self, immersed in the duties of a wife and mother in addition to various other societal roles.
Why is it so hard for so many of us to pursue what we truly love or stand by our true calling in life. Every person is born with the remarkable ability to pursue something they truly excel in. Still, there lingers a feeling of  non fulfillment in most human beings we come across or a failure of recognition of what they truly want in life. It is important that we live beyond the everyday rut to have an enlightenment in this realm!
1)Our social conditioning and demands put us at cross roads to make the choice between a pragmatic compromised lifestyle and our true calling that gives utmost satisfaction and reward. Striking a balance between the two, and pursuing them hand in hand could be quite challenging, but certainly doable. All you need to do is try. To follow your heart and dare to do what you believe takes courage, belief and diligence.
2) Vulnerability is viewed as a weakness and we dread to expose ourselves through our true passions for fear of non-acceptance and non-conformity. When you are out there sharing with the world who you truly are, judgments and criticisms are bound to follow. Using these tools for further awakening and empowerment alone could see us through the fulfillment of a purpose beyond a mortal existence.
3) The fear of failure is a major obstacle that stands in the way of pursuit of our passion. Failure puts us down in our own eyes eventually leading us to give up the idea of following our heart. The thought of stretching our comfort zone is quite unsettling but that is the only way we could bring change. I for one, learned it the hard way, but better be late than never.

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Months passed since that chat with my daughter and life went on as usual and I happened to stumble on a show that inspired me to share my thoughts with the outside world. My foray into the blogging world transpired out of a yearning to convey messages on holistic healing of the ailments of an emaciated world in terms of physical and mental health, as part of my own soul searching. As much as I thrive in the vibes and applause of like-minded audience that is a part of my tribe, I am also equally humbled by their presence! When my hands itch every weekend to write about ideas close to my heart, I sense that I have truly found my place.
It was an equally satisfying endeavor when I signed up for a 10K Marathon recently and finished it unscathed! The fear of failure of meeting my own new standards and an unwillingness to get out of my set routine were the factors that held me back from exploring new avenues or stretch my physical limits. When we transgress the unknown, we often find ourselves. I also stretched my intellectual limits when I signed up for a new academic challenge that continues to tickle my grey cells and show  new horizons of learning. It is also teaching me that acquisition of knowledge transcends age. Life should be a continuous process of learning and growing at personal and intellectual levels.
I have a new found energy in my midlife, from the interests that I indulge, that reveal new unexplored paths.  I am in a state of greater understanding of self that has given  me a new lease on life. It is not midlife crisis, rather Midlife Magic for the gift of discretion, of clarity and a renewed sense of purpose!!